Rebecca wanted my attention today

Today was very unusual.  Beginning first thing this morning, I heard "Our God" playing on the radio while I was getting the girls dressed for school.  Because we had a school delay, we were around the house awhile longer today and before we left I heard it again.  My mother in law took the girls for a "girls day out" and I was listening to the music channel on the TV.  I heard both "Our God" and "Praise You in this Storm".  As the day went on and the kids came back, I heard both songs on the radio again.  Then tonight I went to Family Christian Bookstore and while I was in there I heard both songs.  Now we are a family that never turns off the radio, but I have never heard those songs as much as I had today.

Rebecca wanted her mommy's full attention today.  It has been really hard knowing that a year ago I was living a completely different life.  Time is going to fast - it's so hard to let it go.  I know it may seem weird to people, but I would give anything to still be going through the fight just so she would be here with us.  

I remember a year ago I was surprised to find a picture at Rebecca's bed of her and the Easter Bunny that the NICU staff took for us.  I saw on the news that Tri-Fest was last weekend.  I remember that was my first trip back home last year after the girls were born.  Rebecca not being here never entered my mind a year ago.  She was healthy, just needed to gain some weight in order to get her procedure done.  

Our family will never be the same as it was - we are changed forever.